


The Hundred-Acre Wood.

by earltrancy (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 21:15:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14481324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/earltrancy
Summary: Daniel James was a boy of eight who came from London and very much didnotwant to move to the Hundred Acre Wood. Alas, however, Daniel was far too polite to complain to his parents about such things.





	The Hundred-Acre Wood.

**Author's Note:**

> yep, this is really a Winnie-the-Pooh au. no, i'm not kidding. it's written in children's book style, and hopefully reads kind of like milne. bolded text will be milne's work!

Daniel James was a boy of eight who came from London and very much did _not_ want to move to the Hundred Acre Wood. Alas, however, Daniel was far too polite to complain to his parents about such things. 

He compromised by making his attitude very clear the entire car ride on the way to the Howell family’s new home – much as he had the first time they had visited it two months ago, and every time after, as well as with every box he helped Mummy and Daddy and little Adrian pack. 

“Come on now, Daniel, you will have to stop pouting _some_ time,” said Jackie with a smile at him as she helped Adrian out of the car. 

Daniel did agree. He was sure he would stop pouting once he was back in London where he belonged. 

“Come on, come here,” repeated Jackie in a gentle tone, and knelt down, pulling Daniel in so she had an arm around each of her sons as they looked at their new surroundings. 

“Just look around, dear. So many tall trees for climbing, and space to lay down and watch clouds or stars. I know you'd rather not be so far up north, but you'll give this place a fair chance, won't you?”

“... I do like climbing trees,” Daniel answered very maturely, and his mum hugged him, and his brother as well. 

__________

Daniel did not, however, climb any trees that same day, due to being very tired after once again helping Mummy and Daddy and Adrian with boxes. 

And boxes. 

And boxes. 

It felt like ages of boxes until it was finally bedtime, and Daniel was relieved, which was quite silly, because Daniel didn't even _like_ bedtime most of the time. Well, besides the sleeping part. 

So then Daniel told Mummy and Daddy and Adrian good-night, and made Mummy promise she'd go to sleep as well (rather than unpack boxes until she went mad), and went to bed. 

In the morning, though, Daniel's pout had returned, and not even purpose. No, this was less of a pout and more of an –

“Upset-face.”

“What?” 

Adrian frowned and repeated, “You've got upset-face.”

“Oh. Well, you've got stupid-face, then.”

“No no no,” insisted Adrian. “You have this face you make. When you're all sad and don't feel good and stuff. It kind of makes you look like you're about to throw up.”

“Because that's much better.”

“It's not! That's why I told you that you have it.”

“Then how do I fix it?” 

“I don't know.”

Daniel nodded and looked down at his shoes, which perplexed Adrian greatly, because that didn't help the upset-face at all. 

“What about the woods? Like Mummy showed us. I’m sure she'll let you go after breakfast.”

He tilted his head, thinking. “Yes, that would be nice. Would you like to come?”

Adrian smiled. “I don't think I'd be allowed, you know.”

“Oh.” Daniel huffed. “Hey, don't you get upset-face, now.”

“Tell me all about it once you get home, please.”

“Of course. Promise.”

Daniel held out his little finger, and Adrian laughed and locked his own with his brother's. 

__________

Jackie Howell was very pleased to hear that her older son did still want to explore their new home and did quite happily grant him permission to explore Hundred Acre Wood, so long as he was home by lunch. This seemed reasonable enough to Daniel, and so he agreed. 

Daniel felt very lucky as he set out, as it was his very favorite kind of morning – bright and sunny with lots of shade from all the clouds and lots of fresh rain puddles for stepping in and splashing. 

In galoshes, of course. He wouldn't dream of splashing in any other shoes, so he thought to himself as he laughed and hummed and splashed around until he noticed himself to be rather far into the forest and rather far from home. 

“Well, I am rather far from home, anyways,” Daniel said to himself quite bitterly, as home was London and London was south and south was rather far now. 

“Oh, is somebody there?” said a voice not so different from Daniel's own, with the important exception that it came from very far above him. 

“Hello?!” called back Daniel in a disconcerted voice, looking up and all around. “Yes, there is somebody! But where are you?”

“Up here! Up here! In this tree, can you see me?” 

And Daniel did see something that he supposed was a somebody, a little yellow bear up in a tree that looked to be in quite a predicament. 

“Goodness me,” said Daniel to the bear in the tree, “How on _Earth_ did you get up _there?”_

“I climbed, of course,” answered the bear, which Daniel supposed he should have guessed, “But now I’m slipping and slipping! I’ll certainly fall!”

The bear sounded terribly frightened, and Daniel knew he must help him. “I could climb to get you!” Daniel exclaimed, “But I think you'll slip before I reach where you are…”

“Oh, bother,” said the bear with a frown. “I do hope I won't rip my stitching.”

Daniel thought, then brightened – “I know! I'll catch you. If I stand underneath where you are like this –” 

“I'm not sure I like the sound of that.”

“Well, you will have to trust me a bit.”

“I think this is more than a bit, from this high!” 

“Then think, would you rather jump, or fall, then?”

“... You must promise you'll catch me.”

The words suddenly brought thoughts of Adrian – now this would make a most interesting story to tell. “I promise, I do!” 

“Well, alright, now,” agreed the bear, “Then I suppose I'll trust you.”

And he did, and let go of the branch he clung to, and Daniel caught him in his arms, just as he'd promised he'd do. 

He set the bear down, smiling. “See, that wasn't so bad.”

“I suppose not,” answered the bear with a nod, returning to the tree. “And thank you very much,” he told Daniel from the lowest branch. 

“Hey, now just wait!” Daniel said after him. 

The bear looked. “Yes?” He said. 

“Come down from there! You'll just be stuck again, silly bear!”

“What kind of of way to look at things is that?”

“It's the way that makes sense!” said Daniel exasperatedly, and took the bear from the tree himself – he had not gotten very far up, and Daniel was tall enough to reach – and set him down again. 

The bear frowned and sat on the ground with a troubled look. “You might be right,” he said, “But this is an emergency, you see. I've run out of honey, and honey is a terrible thing to run out of.”

Daniel blinked. “You're quite silly, aren't you, bear?” 

The bear smiled. “Maybe. Tell me, rescuer, what is your name?”

“Daniel James Howell.” 

“A lovely name. You quite remind me of someone, Daniel James.”

“Oh, Daniel will do just fine.”

“It will, it will,” agreed the bear, “But Daniel James will do better.”

“You're very silly,” Daniel said again. “What's your name, then?” 

“I’m Pooh!” Said Pooh. 

Daniel thought this name was silly too, but he was more polite than to tell that to Pooh, so instead he smiled and said, “It's very nice to meet you, Pooh.”

“It's very nice to meet you, Daniel James.” Pooh still looked quite worried, however. 

“If it really is so important, Pooh,” said Daniel, “I could go and get you your honey.”

Pooh brightened greatly, even standing up. “Oh, it is, Daniel James, it's most important! Would you really help me again?” 

“I was hoping to climb trees today anyway,” answered Daniel, looking up at the beehive Pooh had been climbing for. It was very high, but Daniel was good at climbing trees.  
As it turned out, though, Daniel was _not_ very good at climbing slippery wet trees in slippery wet galoshes. 

“Daniel James,” said Pooh with a hand on his new acquaintance’s shoulder, the third time he had slipped down, “I think perhaps you shouldn't try again.”

“I think perhaps you're right,” replied Daniel as he stood. “I'm sorry, Pooh. I really did think I could do it.”

“That's quite alright, Daniel James,” he said with a chuckle. “I'll find something to do about my honey, I will.”

“Well, what do you usually do when you can't reach your honey…?”

“Hmmm,” thought Pooh. 

“Oh! Well, I do have a friend I could see. But he likes you to bring a radish or two when you go to see him.”

“That's odd. Wherever would you find a radish?”

__________

After a bit of walking after Pooh, the two find their way to the back door of a very large tree. 

Daniel couldn't say he'd seen many a tree with a back door, or any kind of door, but elected not to comment. 

“Rabbit! Rabbit!” Pooh called as he knocked at the door, and a large, disgruntled-looking rabbit answered soon after. 

“Oh, Pooh, it's you. And who –?”

“Oh of course,” said Pooh. “Rabbit, this is Daniel James. Daniel James, this is my dear friend Rabbit.”

Well, that helped a bit, thought Daniel. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Likewise,” agreed Rabbit before turning. “He looks a lot like –”

“– I thought so too,” said Pooh. “But Rabbit, may I ask of you a radish from your garden?” 

“Ah. Going to see the badgers, then?” 

“Yes, yes.”

“Then that's alright. I’ll be a moment.”

Rabbit closed the door, which Daniel thought was rather rude, but not a minute later returned to open it, two fresh radishes in hand. 

“Oh, thank you,” said both Daniel and Pooh, and then laughed at each other and then each took a radish. 

“... No matter,” Rabbit answered with a slightly suspicious look, “but Daniel James, you must come for tea sometime. I'll welcome you properly to our wood.”

Daniel grinned with a nod. “I'd be delighted.”

__________

“You're quite like an old friend of mine, Daniel James, you know,” said Pooh a short walk later. “Though he wore clothes with more colors than you.”

Daniel pulled on his tee-shirt and raised an eyebrow at Pooh. “Silly bear. Black is a color. It's all the colors at once, even.”

Pooh let out a laugh full of mirth at this, “Yes, you are very much like Christopher Robin. That's the highest of compliments, you know. He's my very best friend.”

Daniel smiled. “I'm glad you think so, then. I haven't one of those.”

“A best friend?” 

Daniel nodded. 

“You'll find one.”

“I hope so.”

Pooh took his hand. “I’ll be your friend, Daniel James.”

“Well, thank you, Pooh.”

__________

“Hello, Belinda.”

Belinda the badger, as Pooh had informed him her name was, tilted her head and looked expectantly up at Dan. 

“We're here to see a friend of yours?” 

Belinda blinked. 

“We have these.”

Dan held out the radishes, and Belinda raised her head. She walked forward and accepted the radishes, then scampered off. 

A moment later another boy a bit older than Dan appeared, with a smaller badger on his shoulder happily munching away at a radish. 

The little boy smiled and scratched the badger’s head. “Thor says thank-you – hm?” His nose scrunched up. “Who are you?” 

Daniel startled at the confrontation, but Pooh said, “Hello, Philip!” and the other boy seemed to calm. 

“Oh, hello Pooh,” said Philip, then repeated “But who are you?”

“Philip, this is my friend Daniel James,” said Pooh, “And Daniel James, this is Philip.”

“That's far too long a name,” said Philip. 

“I beg your pardon?”

“Daniel James,” Philip said. “Far too long. You don't even look like a Daniel James.”

Daniel had no idea what to say to that. 

“Dan,” Philip said after a moment, with a nod. “Yes. You'll be Dan. That's much better.”

Dan's eyebrows pulled together. “Um. Alright. Then – Then you'll just be Phil.”

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yes, fine. Now where is this tree?” 

Thor the badger finished his radish, and Phil set him on the ground to scamper off. 

What a strange boy, thought Dan. 

__________

“Pooh,” said Phil, after hearing the tales of the fallings from the tree, “Have you ever thought perhaps that you should portion your honey, so that you don't have to do such silly things as this?”

“Well, yes,” Pooh answered, “But it's very hard, you see. Because I just love honey so much.”

Dan and Phil both laughed. Dan thought Phil had a very nice laugh. 

“At least we're friends with the bees. They'll lend Pooh some honey if he just asks politely,” explained Phil. 

“I see,” said Dan. 

__________

It was only when they reached the beehive tree that Dan noticed Phil had been in his bare feet this whole time. How had he not tripped on any branches?

Phil took to the tree as easily as anything. 

**He  
** climbed  
and  
he  
climbed  
and  
he  
climbed,  
and  
as  
he  
climbed  
he  
sang  
a  
little  
song  
to  
himself.  
It  
went  
like  
this:  
“Oh, isn't it funny  
How a bear likes honey?  
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!  
I wonder why he does.” 

It was a cute little song, and a nice little voice, and Phil reached the beehive singing it and asked the bees to please fill Pooh’s jar with honey, and they did, and Phil climbed back down. 

“Oh, thank you, thank you! Daniel James, Philip, you've been so kind to me!” 

“I assume you'll be going home with your honey?” Phil laughed.

“I think I will now, yes,” said Pooh, “But thank you, thank you. You must both come to see me tomorrow, alright?”

Dan smiled. “I will, Pooh. I swear it.”

“I'll come if I can,” said Phil, but Dan assumed that was the most one usually got out of Phil. 

“I'll be glad to see you!” 

__________

“How old are you?” Phil asked suddenly, from where he'd sat down at the base of the tree. He'd pulled out a snack that looked like marshmallows, and was eyeing Dan curiously. 

Then he added, “I’m twelve,” as if to prove no ill intent. 

“I’m eight,” said Dan.

“You're tall for eight.”

“Maybe you're short for twelve.”

“Am not,” said Phil, and threw one of his snacks at Dan. 

“Why do you have marshmallows?” 

“Because they're my favorite.” 

That was fair enough, thought Dan.

__________

Phil left with little explanation, and Dan took his place sat under the tree. 

“Well, thank you for the eventful morning, bees,” Dan said to the bees far above his head – and when the sun shone right in his eyes he realized it was noon, and therefore nearly lunchtime, and decided he should be getting home. 

As Dan splashed through the puddles again on his way home, he sang a little song to himself. 

_“Oh, isn't it funny_  
How a bear likes honey?  
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!  
I wonder why he does.” 

**Author's Note:**

> ⚘ tumblrs:  
> main / ourstarbucksofa  
> nsfw writing / glitchdh


End file.
